“Last week, Japanese scientists explaced… placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland’s local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.” —- Napoleon Dynamite

I couldn’t resist. I finally found the whole thing written down (I’ve been searching for it since I read Breaking Dawn), and it’s one of my favorite movie lines of all time.