Comments on: manners don’t matter? excuse me.

By: Lawanda Dean

Lawanda Dean — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 07:25:06 +0000

My Parents taught my sisters and brothers manners from the beginning. You teach children from day one,you don’t begin teaching them when they’re 5 or 6! AND my parents taught by example,they had manners and we just grew up watching them. It’s a no brainer!

By: Jaime {sophistimom}

Jaime {sophistimom} — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 21:03:41 +0000

That is a great story, Rita. Manners are so much more important than people think. Thanks for raising 3 boys the right way!

By: Rita

Rita — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 20:25:28 +0000

I too believe manners are very important in the raising of children. I raised 3 boys who are all now grown (3 grandbabies so far)and when a new football coach came to my youngest sons school the coach explained anyone that did not say yes sir or no sir would have to do so many pushups. My son raised his hand and the coach said “yes son”, my son said “I will never do any push ups” and coach was puzzled then my son said “My mom raised me right!”, and he never did. As a matter of fact they named an award after him that year. Makes a mom proud.

By: Kate

Kate — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 04:00:40 +0000

Table manners are important because they translate over to treating others with respect. When I worked retail (in the tourism industry and then at a small store with an antiquated system, making checkout take a long time) people who were polite made my day easier, kept me from getting stressed and fumbling, and helped me to keep a smile on my face. When people tried to make my job harder or were mean or not understanding, I made more mistakes and was more visibly agitated and had a harder time helping them quickly.
At Sunday School, when the three year olds I teach are getting demanding for snack, I make each of them say “Please may I have a snack, Miss Kate?” (or as well as they can say it, some of them are behind verbally) before they can have a snack. Who on earth said this is unnecessary? They probably didn’t realize how it’s a building block, like learning language early on, that will be more useful later on.

By: Tirzah

Tirzah — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:33:03 +0000

My kids are getting older now with my oldest married and my youngest being nine, but sometimes a little reminder is deemed necessary. I occasionally break into song with an old Joyschool line from the manners song, “…so when you want the butter, say ‘please, pass the butter’ good manners are never out of style, and when you get the butter, say ‘thanks, for the butter’ and say it with a great big happy smile…” Another thing I’ve pulled out at times is a cute children’s book called “It’s a Spoon, Not a Shovel.” I love, love the pig idea.

By: Jill

Jill — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 19:05:53 +0000

Until recently I taught preschool. One of the skills we worked on was table manners at snack time. It lasted all year and most of them didn’t master it but we tried. The children were supposed to say “please pass the juice (or whatever food they wanted)”. When it was passed we worked on saying “thank you”.

One thing I’ve heard from the preschoolers and friends’ families is that a lot of people don’t sit down as a family and eat dinner. How are children supposed to learn manners if they don’t have role models? I hope being kind and polite isn’t going the way of the dinosaur!

By: table manners, thanksgiving traditions | sophistimom

table manners, thanksgiving traditions | sophistimom — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 21:30:55 +0000

[...] new reader named Susan made a comment on the “manners don’t matter? excuse me” post. She gave an example of how she taught her kids manners with a little toy pig at the [...]

By: Susan

Susan — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 14:11:49 +0000

My boys are grown now, but table manners became a source of pride when they were young. I had a little pig that sat in front of my plate. When someone commited an error, I moved the pig in front of his plate. He could move the pig to someone else’s plate only when he spotted an error. When dinner was over, whoever had the pig had to clear the table. Sometimes, my husband and I had to clear, but after awhile the pig just sat quietly by me through dinner. That little pig still sits on my kitchen hutch and watches over us to make sure we are polite at the table.

By: Trudy

Trudy — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:49:26 +0000

I have a couple “games” that come in handy for table manners. Granted, there are plenty of nights when these gems don’t work, but for the most part they’re pretty helpful. Here they go:

1. Catchy rhymes – “Mable, Mable strong and able, get those elbows off the table!” “You get what you get, and you don’t get upset!”

2. Reverse rolls – Let the kids pretend they’re the parent. My kids love this! Parents get to misbehave. The kids get to tell the parents what they need to do. To really get the point across, my husband and I will say – “I have to do what? I don’t understand, will you show me?” (This one also works well for bedtime routines, leaving playgrounds etc.) Another version is to let the girls “teach” their stuffed animals and dolls the routine. The girls aren’t allowed to have toys at the table, but there have been a few nights where the stuffed spectators watched from kitchen counters or hallways.

3. Rewards. They can place stickers on their responsibility chart when they clear their dishes. Also, we usually do some family fun activity after dinner (go for a walk, playground, game) so if they want to do that – they can’t do it until their places are cleared!

4. The quiet game. Who can be the quietest for the longest?

Good luck and have fun!

By: Connie

Connie — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 03:09:15 +0000

Jamie,
Love the blog, and this entry touched a nerve. As a former teacher and foster mom, I’ve found that basic manners are important and not overly difficult to instill. As a teacher (granted, it was in a Catholic school in the South) my students were required to say please, thank you, may I, and ma’am, not to mention stand up when an adult entered the room. As a foster mom, my 3 kids learned very quickly that if they didn’t ask and respond properly, they didn’t get what they wanted. Now if I only had as much success as a step mom…..