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a late winter picnic.
Several years ago, when my oldest son was a baby and we lived in Hawaii, I spent most of my free time drooling over the photographs in Martha Stewart Living. I knew once we moved back to the mainland, I would entertain people in a way that would make Martha proud.
When we got back, I got to work. I gathered pieces for baking and serving as I went along: cake pedestals, cookie cutters, a kitchen torch. As we hosted small dinner parties, I soon realized how expensive it was, and soon after that started to wonder what all the fuss was about. Though I loved trying to create something lovely, I knew most of my friends didn’t really care what I did; they just wanted to get together. Eventually, I was asking myself why I needed to impress anyone.
It’ll take a few hours of therapy to get to the bottom of that question. But I did come to one solution: I stopped worrying about entertaining friends and decided to turn to my own family and create something beautiful for them.
Sometimes it was dinner for two: fillet mignon with matchstick fries and shallot sauce. Other times it was something the kids would love on a snow day, like hot chocolate affogati. I liked to find ways to celebrate and show the people around me that I loved them.
In my head, of course, was this vision of once a week having the whole family dress for dinner and eating with the best china and silver. But I haven’t gotten around to that yet. If I ever get nice china and silver, I’ll let you know how that turns out.
Anyway, you know my story. Somewhere between the fillet mignon and the chocolate affogati, my marriage went to poop.
And things are still spinning around here. Sometimes I feel like everything is fine and forget for a few moments that someone in this world hates my guts, and other times I remember that fact and want to go to every matinee of Avatar and drown my sorrows in a huge bag of Almond Joy Pieces (Have you tried these yet? They’re like M&Ms with coconut in them. Sorry, Connie. Not for you).
While I wait for things to settle out, I have decided to get on with my dreams. I will be making a beautiful life for my family anyway. For we have plenty to celebrate.
Last week, we celebrated the end of winter. After school, we piled some chicken hand pies into a tin bread box, and stuffed a hot brick wrapped in kitchen towels beside them to keep them warm. My four-year-old brought out a tiny lunch box, which we filled with raspberry jam bars. Then we raced to the mountains and arrived just as the sun hid itself behind the western peaks at Sundance Resort.
While freezing our little fingers off, I said in tones of strained patience things like: “Mommy needs pictures of you—no don’t make that face” or “The sooner I take these pictures, the sooner we can go get warm” and “That’s funny, but please try to look more natural.”
When our picnic by the fire was over, we went inside to order hot chocolate—wicked expensive hot chocolate. (I’m from Boston, so I am actually authorized to use “wicked” as an intensifier every now and then. Sundance, by the way, always hosts some celebrity or another. Apparently these are the people who can regularly afford wicked expensive hot chocolate. On this trip, it was Wayne Brady, in case you were dying to know). While inside, we got warm, took more pictures, and celebrated being together.
This new chapter in our lives is not what I planned all those years ago, while reading my magazines in a tiny apartment in Kona, but it is so much better, because I am entertaining my own family. I know now, more than ever before, why that is a perfect reason to celebrate.
17 Responses to “a late winter picnic.”
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I miss you Jaime. I think this will be your best chapter yet!!
Love your attitude! Looks like you made a warm, happy memory for your kids:) BTW, your lunches look very Martha Stewart-like!
I will go to Avatar with you! Love those Almond Joy Pieces! What a fun outting! Your attitude is great. Keep it up! I am sure it is hard to stay positive, but you have 3 beautiful kids to be proud of! Love Sundance. Went skiing there at BYU–when it was cheap for local people
Will you also share your recipes for the chicken hand pies and raspberry jam bars? Yum!!!!
Yes, Jen, as a matter of fact, I am working on those recipes right now!
I’ve only been hanging around here for a while, but I must say that you are amazing
You are strong and beautiful inside and out.
While I’ve not shared your struggles, I’ve had my own; I appreciate your strength.
Keep fighting
Stay strong, you have our support, for what it is worth.
I’m actually planning a snow picnic for tomorrow; we’re headed out to the sugar bush to collect maple syrup. Thanks for the hot cocoa reminder!
A winter picnic is a wonderful idea. My kids would so enjoy something like that. thanks for inspiring me.
Jaime, We do have to find the happiness now. In the everyday moments. I am so happy that you and your children are able to enjoy your creativity. Making the best of the circumstances no matter what they are. Love love love this post.
[...] you don’t mind, I think I’ll post the dessert to our late winter picnic [...]
Lovely post – and after all, it is creating the memories that is the most important thing. One of my favourite childhood memories is of being picked up from school in late summer, and spending the afternoon and evening on the beach with rotisserie chicken and rolls for dinner. Swimming and playing and no homework. You are doing something similar on he other side of the world. Wicked.
[...] decided on these for the winter picnic because I wanted something that was warm and not messy. I kept thinking of a calzone, but those [...]
So happy to see you blogging again on a regular basis! Your food always looks so yummy! Just remember that there are people out here in blogland that are cheering for you! You are creating wonderful, happy memories for your children, and you are an inspiration to others!! xo
I know this is a year after the fact but I’ve only just been introduced to your blog. (I love it, btw.)
I’m a single mother of one. I know what it’s like to pick up the pieces and start over.
I’ve also learned that “sometimes we hold onto the things God himself is trying to tear apart”. <– that was my answer. My reasoning that got me through to where I am today. There are still so many "whys", "what ifs", etc but that helps me remember and know that there's a bigger plan and even in the darkest valleys, there are lessons to be learned. It's also made me realize the mountain tops are glorious! but it's in those valley's that we grow.
Thank you, K.!
This is so sweet!
I read a blog you might like…she had an Easter party for her children you won’t believe. You’ll have to scroll down to the party.
http://resolved2worship.xanga.com/
I met you at PW