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how to steam artichokes
I tried making roasted artichokes in the past. That was a pain in the you-know-what. It’s like battling a rose bush. Even though I remember loving steamed artichokes when I was a kid, my first experience cooking them turned me off to a second attempt for years.
Then I went to Costco. That place can convince you that you need just about anything. New windshield wipers. A bullet blender. Six pounds of granola.
Well, a few weeks ago, four spiny orbs smiled up at me and begged me to buy them. Since they were in the refrigerator room, I had to decide fast. That’s on purpose, you know. Not many stores put a whole section of products in a room that registers below 40 degrees. You go in thinking, Okay, I will only buy a flat of strawberries. And if blueberries are a good price, I’ll buy them, too. Oh good there they are. Wait, quick, I better get some snap peas while I’m here. I’m freezing. Oh, and I wanted to buy some mini cucumbers! Only five dollars!
By the time you exit, you have rounded up twenty-five dollars in impulse buys in less than forty seven seconds. Forget buyer’s remorse—you’re mostly just happy to be warm again. Buyer’s remorse would mean going back in there.
Then your three-year-old tells you she has to go to the bathroom. The one strategically placed on the exact opposite end of the store. Once you’ve woven through the families waiting in line to get the dinosaur chicken samples (hasn’t everyone already tasted them? I mean, come on, people!) with a cart that has the maneuverability of a dumpster, you’ve walked practically a quarter of a mile to that potty. By then there’s no chance in _____ you’re going to put that produce back.
Pure marketing genius.
So I took my four prickly vegetables home. They sat in my fridge a few days before I had the courage to tackle them. Then on the night of the royal wedding, I needed to do something that would keep me awake.
And this is how I did it.
First, I cut the long stems off of each artichoke.
Next, I took kitchen shears to cut off the spiny points of each visible leaf, like so.
Then I took all four artichokes and shoved—really shoved them down—into a pot with a lid.
I poured about a cup of water into the bottom of the pot, and tossed in some lemon zest I had peeled off with a vegetable peeler (the lemon peeler keeps the artichokes from smelling too much like you’re boiling a pair of Converse All-Stars).
Then, I brought the water to a boil over high heat. I turned the heat down to a low simmer, covered, and let them steam for about 45 minutes or more. I checked them every 10 minutes or so, to make sure the water hasn’t boiled down too much. Whenever the water got low, I just added in another half cup.
I took them off the heat, let them cool completely, and then I peeled back the leaves, and ate them with chia seed aioli. Next time, if I have the presence of mind (which I didn’t at 4:30am), I will take pictures of getting the artichoke heart out. It’s not that hard to do, once they’re steamed. All you need to do is make sure all of the leaves have been peeled back, then slice each artichoke in half. Use a melon baller to remove all the spiny baby leaves in the middle (mine were white with a purple tinge on the ends), and then remove the little carpet of hairy spikes on the base of the heart. Et voilà. You have just conquered the most vicious vegetable in western cuisine.
In case you’ve never had steamed artichoke leaves, I find the best way to enjoy them is to dip the ends of them in something tasty, bite the whole leaf and slide your teeth back to scrape off the flesh. Then I throw away the fibrous remains.
What is your favorite way to enjoy an artichoke, and what are your Costco/Sam’s Club/BJs/PriceClub horror stories?
12 Responses to “how to steam artichokes”
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I like to dip mine in hollandaise…
That is so funny about Costco impulse buys. The worst is when you’re single. You can spend $80 at Costco and come home with nothing to eat, really. One time I came home with a huge bag of soynuts. I think I “left them” at a friends house.
http://www.laquintacliffhouse.com/docs/Baked_Artichoke%20Recipe%20072209.pdf
This is the best baked artichoke I have ever eaten. Though, as you can see, if you eat it more than once or twice a year, your heart will stop.
Listerine- why would I ever buy three gallons of something you use a TBSP at a time once a day?
I don’t love them steamed, but my husband cuts them in half, sprinkles a little Cajun seasoning on them and puts them on the grill. They are really tasty on the grill, too!
They have these black pepper pecans with cranberries at Costco. The only reason they were a bad purchase is because they were $10 for a small bag, and I dream of them all the time- but will only occasionally splurge for them!
Laura, I totally get what you’re saying. When there were five of us, we’d spend $200, and still have nothing to eat. Once it was all put away, I’d usually have about a 30% recall of what we’d actually bought. Then I’d run out to Target to get something to eat.
Amanda—those Cliff House artichokes sound delicious.
Haley—I’ve just discovered this Fruit and Nut Trail mix with cherries, cranberries, walnuts, almonds, and pistachios. The black pepper pecans sound great, too.
We grill artichoke a lot, which is wonderful. However, once my husband made artichoke hearts topped with a cream sauce made with roasted garlic, eggplant, and Dubliner cheese that was so amazing it made me cry.
I had a friend who went to Price Club just outside Washington, D.C. for coffee once. She spent over $500 and forgot the coffee.
That Price Club story is hilarious, Connie.
And if Grant had made me those artichokes, I would have cried, too.
You made me laugh with this post! I used to go to costco a lot, and then I’d always get home from spending $200 and have to go to the regular grocery store for something to make for dinner! No other place could make me consider spending $1700 for a grill like that place can–somehow, it seems so reasonable there.
Hayley’s idea for grilled artichokes sounds really tasty. We tend to buy costco sized sour cream because we go through it like nobody’s business. And then other things find their way into the cart; I do so want a kayak. Luckily I don’t shop there by myself.
Thank you so much for taking us step by step, I’m always intimidated by artichokes but love to eat them, so this post was great, thanks!
Mary
I agree that when I go to Costco I fill my cart and car, but come home and have nothing to eat, so we always order pizza and then I kick myself because I always forget to get a pizza when I am at Costco.
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